Today at 6:36pm my last class at Manhattanville College ended. It has not sunk in yet but in two weeks I will be a college graduate. The thought is unreal because it seems like yesterday I was waving goodbye to my mom as she drove off leaving me to start my college career.

Right now I don’t know what to feel. I know I am happy because I am so close to being done; I just have to pass everything. I feel as though I am obligated to feel sad about leaving this place, but I can’t. I really don’t care about leaving. I don’t really have an attachment to this place. I have had great experiences, met some amazing people, and learned a lot about myself, but I still don’t feel cheerless (I really like that word and really wanted to use it once).

Perhaps the sadness is just being pushed to the side for the moment. I am so happy to be with my family again, and to actually spend more than a year with my boyfriend; being that he does not attend this school we have spent more time apart then together. I am excited to start an internship with Blue Cross and move forward with my career. Fear is in me right now, the whole paying bills is what puts it there.

Sadness is nowhere to be found. Maybe it will come pay me a visit on the day I pull out of here and know that I am not coming back in the fall, maybe in a year, or maybe never.